Guide to the Gentry part 1

The first and most basic thing to understand the English mindset of the 18th century, is that your social class was of paramount importance. With few exceptions, the social class you were born to is the one you were in for life. Most people worked for a living in some way (as they do today). The gentry class are more or less the landlords, the leisured class, the people who matter. They considered themselves superior by birth, and looked down on anyone beneath them, any of their number who dirtied their hands with trade, the Scots, the Irish, pretty much the rest of the world, except perhaps the French, who they allowed had a flair for fashion. They spent a great deal of their leisure time picking on each other for real or imagined faults.

By being born to the gentry, Stephen and Allen have pretty much won the genetic lottery.
When Allen grouses about not having money, he has no idea of starving to death. He has the use of the family's houses (they have several!), carriages, horses, etc. What he doesn't have is personal funds to buy whatever fripperies he wants, so he can't impress people with his importance by spending money in flashy ways. Without money, a title, or some other bragging rights, he has no way to fend off criticism. This is a minor thing to you or I, but to a member of the gentry it's more of a personal hell.